In the history of popular music, it seems that Santa Claus gets a lot of love, some explicitly.
Is Santa Claus a Daddy sex symbol? "Santa gets some folks wet in their Christmas stockings," comedian Myers once said. "A man confident enough to eat cookies and drink milk left by strangers is a man that's confident in the sack”.
High school sweethearts. First crushes. Illicit loves. All of them – in the history of rock, pop, hip-hop and indie – worthy subjects of lyrical love, lust and devotion. But there’s someone else who also gets their fair share of action when it comes to musical tributes, someone who doesn’t even exist. Santa Claus.
For some reason, Santa Claus has been the subject of lust in music since the 40s! His eggnog brings all the boys and girls to the yard. Eartha Kitt certainly seemed to think so back in 1953, when she started getting all for Mr. Claus in the very, very pervy ‘Santa Baby’.
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Maybe it’s the beard, or maybe he’s just a really nice guy – gives presents, always texts back, always offers to pay for dinner, drinks your milk. Though when you hear Ella Fitzgerald’s innuendo laden ‘Santa Claus Got Stuck In My Chimney’ (“Santa Claus got stuck in my chimney/When he came last year”), it sounds like Santa’s a bit of a naughty boy. And when we say boy, we mean a white haired 167-year-old Scandinavian man, who allegedly has a nice wife.
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Whatever it is, Santa’s definitely got swag! There’s a whole load more songs that pay tribute to sexy Santa, including Clarence Carter’s bluesy 1968 ‘Back Door Santa’, which, is about Santa having endless affairs with the mothers of all the children he’s giving presents too.
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Girls Aloud though, have had enough with Santa’s sexyness as they sing in ‘Not Tonight Santa’. However not even them can resist Santa’s sexy ways, as they put out the line: “I’ll let you peep inside my stocking if you show me yours”.
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Of course there’s the Ronettes’ ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’, but that’s about your dad dressed up as Santa, or is it? Hmm...
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Being Santa Claus can be really tough with all the girls throwing themselves at him wanting to shake his belly full of jelly. Even Mariah Carey, decades later, who claims all she wants for Christmas is you, wants to get some of that Santa Claus action.
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